My underwear smells like fireworks.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
