Duck Duck Cougar?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
