I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
