so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
