dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
