I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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