Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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