just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
