Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
