I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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