i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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