are you still at the devil's house?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
