Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
