Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
