I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My vagina is officially offended.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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