stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
