is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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