but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
