my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
