Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
