Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
