Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
