Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
