it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
