we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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