When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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