Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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