Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
