It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
