Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
