U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
