Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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