How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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