i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
