Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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