she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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