If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
