You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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