So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Randomize
