Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
soo... how was my night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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