what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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