This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Green mimosas i think yes
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
