Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
