As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I am midnight drunk by noon
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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