She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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