okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
