she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
