I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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