well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
