So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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