i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
