is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just high enough for therapy.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
